There is something better than jailed celebrities!  It is all the rage; a new affliction that has spread faster than AIDS, without the stigma of gay sex or dirty needles, incurable, although rarely fatal, and filled with the stuff that makes America stand out in the forefront of the odd and the obscure - American Celebrity Disease (A.C.D.).

            ACD is the term applied for an often symptom-less disease that has gripped the likes of the rich and famous in as great a number as it has the homeless (although they admittedly suffer from other psychological ailments).  Turn on the television or the radio, pick up one of the "trash" magazines and you will find ACD splashed everywhere.  There are those suffering fools willing to spill their guts in front of millions just to have Dr. Laura Schlessinger call them on their obvious stupidity or Dr. Phil shake his balding pate and, looking square at the camera, tell them they need to change their ways. 

There are the throngs of delusional wannabes who line up for hours to audition for American Idol.  There is America's Got Talent, So You Think You Can Dance, The Biggest Loser, The Bachelor,  and Survivor, to name just a few shows that swallow huge globs of talent-less fools afflicted with ACD by having some acerbic Brit perform a surgical strike to their malformed egos.  The latest is a show called, The Moment of Truth, where deluded contestants embarrass and offend their loved ones as they are caught in lies revealed by a lie-detector.  Questions include extremely personal information that one would not wish discussed, let alone lied about in a public forum.  The camera is relentless.

            Game shows, news shows with celebrity-like style, and standing anchors without desks who exchange glib one-liners between the usually sordid tragedies of the day; there is no end to the need to publicly humiliate oneself on the quest for instant celebrity, fame and fortune and the chance to be something.   

And that seems to be the crux of the matter (or the crutch of the matter, and on occasional shows like Blind Date, the crotch of the matter); Americans just want to be good at something.  But at what?

            America used to be a nation of workers and creators, pride in purpose and not of the entitlement generation.  Now everyone has star potential and no one can be left behind, insulted, demoralized and coerced into therapy, anti-depressives, anti-psychotics, and, of course, the ever famous ‘rehab’ often lasting for just days – long enough to hit the news.  Work conversations revolve around the latest fool to appear on a game show.  There is Brittany Spears - already having more public issues than humans deserve to have.  From walking barefoot into a gas station restroom, shaving her head, losing custody of her children, to the now famous exposed genital shot in Paris Hilton’s car – her ‘underwear optional’ theme begs the statement that just because you can see something doesn’t mean it looks good enough to be seen.  The tabloids wonder whether American Idol’s Paula Abdul was drunk or drugged out based on her “whacky” behavior, although both were denied.  But, do we really wonder?  Despite this viral onslaught, not once is it asked: “Who cares?”  Apparently, too many people do care!

            I am embarrassed to be seen in any less-than-flattering light, certainly in any public forum and the last thing I would want, celebrity or not, is to have some long-lasting negative impression of me floating around as fodder for the entertainment of others.

            Washed up former child stars can now engage in a daily display of childish temper-tantrums on national television shows.  There is an endless spate of them from Gary Coleman’s – no longer cute – pitch for quick cash when you’re in a bind, to having Paris and Nicole, both the worst of role models for today’s teen girls, demonstrating how to be good felons.  At least Paris was denied an inheritance because of “giving the family a bad name”.  Imagine that!

There are former teen singing stars, now forced to ‘live together’ on a reality show, although they hate each other, fight, pepper their show with drugs, alcohol and profanity and redeem themselves at the end with, “I love you, man!”  Did I mention they are biologically related?  Stupidity is often genetic.

            It’s a sad reflection of life when, as time passes, Michael Jackson begins to appear more “normal” than the current tribe of selfish, spoiled, self-centered, overpaid, celebrity wannabes who, for the price of behaving badly in public, can make a career and influence a generation who believe that like their favorites, they too deserve exposure and wealth.  The message is trash.  The effect upon a generation is a nightmare.  There is no cure.

            America’s pride and reputation came from simple immigrants with no fame and barely any resources.  They arrived in this country to make a better life for their own, relying, often, on nothing more than the power of their integrity, the bond of a handshake and the determination to be nothing but the best.  They asked for nothing but respect.  They kept their private issues private and staunchly defended anyone needing representation.  The current generation of Americans grow up with false expectations of The Simple Life or American Idol. They are grossly ignorant of life’s hard knocks and as equally ill prepared for them.

            It was not that long ago that substance abuse was viewed in a negative light; now it is considered no worse than having a flu-like illness, easily fixed through some fad-pop-psychology-flavor of the moment.  At the same time, alternating displays of celebrity-induced drunken racist remarks, to police brutality, have become the mainstay. We see this now in every decent neighborhood.   “Can’t we all just get along?”

            You are, after all, only as good as your last public exposure and with the advent of You Tube, My Space and a host of other community forums, every ‘moron’ has become the celebrity of the moment.  These forums are not only awash with everyday people deciding to video themselves having sex; but allowing a forum for the world to add their own comments.  Everyone has a comment, believing in their right to do so without evidence, research or any shred of data beyond the ability to open their floss-deficient mouths and “share” their God-given “smarts”. 

            The rest of the world has a low tolerance for Americans, these days.  Perhaps they are just jealous that they are not sharing in our ‘affliction’ yet.

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